My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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