so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
