ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
