I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
