And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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