So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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