I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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