k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
