He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
