just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
