Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I want to fling myself into the sun
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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