he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
