Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just had sex bonerless
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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