The best revenge is premature balding
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
