Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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