that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
