they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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