Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
