can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
