Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
