She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
