Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
