it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Randomize
