the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
