so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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