you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
