what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
