he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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