worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
