whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
