I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he wants to bone in the snuggie
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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