tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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