D3 body, D1 cock
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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