Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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