Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
