Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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