Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
