I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize