real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
