I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
