My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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