So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
