It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize