i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
