am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
