are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
