I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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