i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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