oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
