You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
