someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
