Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
