Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize