I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
me + whiskey = a bad person
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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