some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
