I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
