So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
