Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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