Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
