i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
third nipple confirmed
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
