Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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