just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
