I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
