yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The beer is more important than you right now.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
