I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
