I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
