I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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